|
|
What No One Tells the Bride: Surviving the Wedding, Sex After the Honeymoon, Second Thoughts, Wedding Cake Freezer Burn, Becoming Your Mother, Screaming about Money, Screaming about In-Laws, etc. |
 |
|
| |
Reviews |
| | Reply to What Have You Done For Me Lately  |
| |
I read What No One Tells the Bride a while ago and was shocked when I read the review titled "What Have You Done for Me Lately." Let me quote what comes straight after "To this day, her husband does not know about the fling" on page 48.
"Now, I'm not recommending a fling as the learning experience is was for Yvonne. But among the brides I interviewed for the book, Yvonne's experience is not that uncommon. Many brides contemplated one last fling, while almost everyone I know or interviewed, either in the engagement or early in the marriage, entertained such questions as, Am I doing the right thing? Did I marry the right person? Or, Am I even the marrying kind?"
The review I am replying to paints an unfair picture of this book, and represents an attitude that many brides struggle with. It may not be OK to have one last fling, but judgmental attitudes towards the many complicated emotions people experience while navigating their relationships lead to shame, which is not productive for anyone. Cheers to Stark for talking about the stuff everyone's afraid they're the only one thinking or experiencing. |
| | College-educated women who have created an identity as a single woman prior to marriage should read this book. |
| |
"What No One Tells the Bride" does not fix your anxieties, nor does it give you magical solutions to potential problems. What it does is allow you to understand that common internal shifts resulting from self-identifying as single woman to a self-identifying married woman happen to others too. You can learn from the author's and others' experiences by reading their stories with advice that comes across more like suggestions.
As long as you are not bothered by a writing style that is very self-focused (in both the author's tone and in the perspective of the women involved) you will enjoy this book. Actually the underlying message of the book, ironically given the tone, is to challenge the self-focus that many formerly single woman have had by putting their fears, doubts and anxieties in perspective.
Yes, at one point there is a LINE in the book where someone says they dealt with anxieties by having a fling but the author doesn't judge it. That may bother some people, but I just took it to be an immature example of how some women act out. Again, learning from others experiences, not offering solutions.
However, all that being said the section on forgiveness (pages 170 - 171. Chapter 7: How to Get Out of the Abyss: 1. Abolish "All or Nothing" Thinking. Choose Unconditional Love Instead) is by far the best advice of the book for me. When things get rough, closing up and moving on and away is a very common way to deal with life when you are single, but such a solution does not work in marriages that are to last a lifetime.
Look it over and then invest in this book.
|
| | THE BEST EVER!! |
| |
Forget the "Everything" books. This is the "must read"! Brides....it helps you cope with the inevitable "trying to keep everyone happy" issue. This book was my lifesaver during the wedding preparation, and just after the wedding when the dust had settled. This is a realistic view of what really happens and how to deal with it. This is not about the fairytale wedding. |
| | Must read for all new brides |
| |
I just started reading this book about 4 months after my wedding and I wish I had gotten to it sooner. It is nice to know that other women are going through a lot of the same new-bride woes as you are, and at the same time being thankful you are not going through some of the things they are. This book provides solid advice for enjoying your marriage as a new bride, and is filled with tons of anecdotes and personal stories from different brides of all ages and backgrounds. All of this and the overall tone of the book makes it a pleasure to read. I highly recommend! |
| | A MUST READ FOR BRIDES TO BE |
| |
I will be honest and say there are not many books out there (that I could find) about the emotional transitions of the engagement/wedding process. Of the three books that I read (the others being "the conscious bride" and "emotionally engaged") this book felt the most grounded to me. Probably because outside of the first few chapters the author does not talk about wedding planning. Stark really focuses on recognizing what emotions we may be going through and some ideas for dealing with it all. The truth is, that for me, the best part of the book is that it reminds me that I don't have to walk into my marriage knowing how everything is going to turn out (who's going to do the dishes, take out the garbage, how often will we have dinner together). With time, patience and talking my husband-to-be and I will figure it all out. To me, this is immensely helpful.
Just a note on the poor reviews:
*The author does not condone a fling or adulterous behavior. As far as I understood, she was sharing one bride's experience and that bride seemed to regret it. Either way, this is one line of the entire book and did not stop me from reading the whole book.
*Stark does talk about her own marriage a lot. She's sharing her own experience and I take in all she says with a grain of salt.
*As for whinny... maybe I don't see it because the other two books gave so much more permission to act out, but I didn't see that here. I only saw Stark trying to sort through her emotions and trying to make sense of them. |
Submit a Review (and enter a chance to win free priceOwl bookmarks)
|
|
| | |
|
